Puppy Envy

My parents went out and got a new puppy and so the puppy envy began. EBO is just starting to walk so what better incentive to wear her insomniac arse out than chasing a dog around the house / garden.

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MotH refuses to walk a “rat” dog so we’re in the search for a medium sized dog of which very few seem to exist. I really can’t blame MotH as many of the local men resigned to walking their girlfriend’s/wife’s/mistress’ Shih-Tzus look completely down-trodden and outright embarrassed. I’m not entirely sure I could walk a Pomeranian or Papillon with my head held high either. So, the search continues for a medium or medium-large dog breed that’s good with evil, non-sleeping children. Having volunteered at an animal shelter before, I’m sorely tempted to try and get a puppy from a humane society although getting a puppy isn’t as easy as you’d think.

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A possibility? Kerry Blue Terrier…

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Tesco Free Range Eggs: Not All They’re Cracked Up to Be?

No pun intended… well maybe. Not a terribly exciting subject but this has been bugging me for some time now.

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Since light has been shed on the deplorable conditions in which battery chickens are kept, we’ve made it a point to buy free range chicken and eggs.

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And, we’ve been buying free range eggs for quite a while now, namely from 3 supermarkets: Tesco, Morrison’s and Asda. Having lived in France, where produce / food is amazingly fresh — bugs and all — I think I can recognise a fresh, free range egg. The yolks are orange: usually a deep, tangerine-like colour. Tesco “Free Range” egg yolks are not orange - ever. These vapid, supposed free range eggs from Tesco more often than not have yolks bordering on a very pale, pastel yellow. This is not the case from eggs purchased from Morrison’s and Asda. These are eggs bought here in Scotland and all claim to come from Scottish sources.

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I’d never have raised an eyebrow if it didn’t happen consistently week after week whenever we get eggs from Tesco. There is absolutely no possible way that these eggs are free range, either that or they’re sold well past their prime. Is Tesco charging a premium for eggs that aren’t what they “say on the tin”?

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Will update with pictures of the suspect eggs!

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Update from a Slack-arse

EBO has been doing the teething/learning-to-walk/getting-a-MMR-jab grouchy thing so has severely limited my leisure computering time.

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Quick items of note:

• I think fortnightly bin/trash collection is fan-fucking-tastic (and I must eventually add to my P.O.S. List.) I’m looking forward to the morning in which I have to procure an ambulance for the collapsed bin man who’s been unfortunate enough to empty the smoldering nastiness of 2 week old shitty diapers. Although I’m all for the updated recycling scheme.

• I’ve gone back to work. Arrrrrgh! Finding the time to develop a new site and learn a new CMS (Joomla) will be interesting to say the least. Should be doable once the teething phase ends. Looking forward to getting things going and having fun with the CMS so far –yes, I am a dweeb.

• The garden is becoming overgrown and unruly. Before September, there might actually be a day of no rain, on a weekend, that will enable us to get outside and do gardening shit. I won’t place any bets yet.

• The Jonathon Ross speech impediment duck called Ming Ming in the Wonder Pets children’s TV show is an annoying little twat. What are they possibly accomplishing by including a character with a speech impediment in a children’s show? Actually, why are so many young children’s show so godawfully obnoxious (see also “Backyardigans”)? Where is Sesame Street? Where are more wonderfully geeky but cool shows such as Yo Gabba Gabba? Thank the stars for internet radio.

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My other new online gaming addiction: PMOG

I’m still a fiend for football gaming by way of Goal Line Blitz (see my posts here) but I’ve now found a new online virtual-crack to waste time on — its name is PMOG. The Passively Multiplayer Online Game.

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And being true to its name, it’s another “game” that you can either invest lots of effort in or very little, depending on your mood. The game takes place via a Firefox add-on in the form of a taskbar at the bottom of your screen. And, if you’ve got nosy office mates, you can hide the taskbar with the click of the mouse.

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I liken it to Stumbleupon but with actual fun involved. You create a “character” (basically just a profile), suit up your character with armour and you’re on your way - simple as that. Whilst going about your daily computing duties, occasionally a little “mission” box will pop up from the taskbar and tempt you on a browsing diversion. Missions are player-created so, like Stumbleupon, you’ll likely come across sites that you might not have seen before.

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As well as this browsing element in the form of missions, there’s reputation to build for your character depending on your play style. This reputation becomes your player’s “association”. PMOG’s community is based off of these associations. If you love to take missions but not much else, then you’ll likely become a Seer although Seers are also those that lay portals to lure other players into dimensions unseen on the internet (portals are like a shortened form of a mission, taking you on a one-site diversion). If you’re a troublemaker, you’ll likely become a Destroyer by laying mines on sites. Generousity your forte? Then you’re best suited as a Benefactor by stashing little gifts about the internet in the form of crates. Read more about the associations by clicking on PMOG’s little sleeping scholar:

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Anywho, here’s a link to my character’s page if’n you’re curious. If you already play, go ahead and send me an acquaintance request. All in all, it’s all a great distraction from doing more productive things… and honestly? Who wants to be more productive?

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Virgin Mary Sighted! … on Jersey Royal?

I was washing my lot of Jersey Royal potatoes and the Virgin Mary revealed herself on one of the spuds. I could hardly believe it. See for yourself:

Mother of Jesus?

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Actually, on closer inspection, it looks more like a smiling alien head - but hey, who am I to question?

The Jersey Royal Higher Life Form Theme

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And lastly, here’s Mr. Alien Head’s final appearance before meeting his maker (complete with parsley and butter):

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First Barbeque & Delayed Father’s Day

MotH had his aunt and uncle up from Devon on Sunday. First time they had seen EBO so we’ve put off Father’s Day until next weekend.

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We decided to get out the grill and brave the mid-60’s weather for our first - and hopefully not only - barbeque of the season. I slightly regretted suggesting it after having spent most of Saturday and Sunday until 3pm cleaning our dumping ground of a house. Barbequing is something that we normally enjoy; beers and relaxation whilst MotH connects with his inner caveman. This was more on the hectic side of things - entertaining rarely seen relatives, monitoring an overly active EBO and preparing the 258 things we decided to serve for dinner.

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All in all, it turned out well. Wine instead of beer but you won’t hear me complain. On the very scaled-down menu, we had:

• Roasted peppers: red, yellow and orange. MotH charred them over the coals before we got down to business.
• Cous-cous with a few chopped aforementioned peppers, flat leaf parsley, spicy spices and lemon juice.
• Asparagus, marinated and grilled.
• Zucchini / Courgettes, marinated and grilled
• Mushrooms, grilled.
• Chicken breast, marinated in lemon, garlic and rosemary.
• Burgers.
• Mixed leaf and herb salad with mushrooms and cherry tomatoes.
• Fresh strawberries and Channel Island extra thick double cream

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Nothing fancy, just lots of prep - and a tad too much, perhaps. Top this off with last night’s Indian takeaway and our refrigerator’s groaning under the weight of leftovers. o.O

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Internets Fun: Create Your Own Debut Album

Shamelessly stolen from a forum I frequent, which undoubtedly was pilfered from somewhere else. In case you’re one of the 3 people who might not have seen it …

Using the power of the www, create your very own band and their debut album - including cover art! Here’s how:

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Your Debut Album

1 - Go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
The first random Wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.

2 - Go to Random quotations: http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
The last four words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.

If you want to do this again, you’ll hit refresh to generate new quotes, because clicking the quotes link again will just give you the same quotes over and over again.

3 - Go to flickr’s “explore the last seven days” http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/
Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

Put it all together, that’s your debut album.

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Here’s mine, thought it kinda funny it came back with something Scottish *and* American Football related for my band name.

My band’s name: Scottish Claymores.

My album title: It’s Never Too Late

My album cover, to fit perfectly with my geekdom:

Image from Clashy’s Flickr Page

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Update: Duck! Oh shi…

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Tesco had a good deal on Gressingham duck so we picked one up. Last time I cooked duck was at Christmas, just for something a little different. As well as the fact that we have turkey at Thanksgiving instead of Christmas; MotH is a real convert to the over-indulgence of Thanksgiving. But, I digress. As well as the last time, it was also the first time I had ever cooked duck. A simple roasted affair. It went surprisingly well but now I’m in search of something a bit different in terms of cooking/seasonings. Off to scour the internets!

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Will update with my findings and results.

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Update: So, my internets search turned up a recipe from a web forum I used to lurk on quite a bit - Chowhound.

I decided to try 5 Hour Roast Duck. Originally reposted from Saveur.com:

The Amazing Five-Hour Duck

SERVES 4 Long cooking yields a tender duck with perfectly crisped skin-with amazingly little effort. Developed by Mindy Heiferling of New York City’s Vinegar Factory, the recipe was chosen for The Best American Recipes 1999, edited by Fran McCullough and Suzanne Hamlin (Houghton Mifflin, $26).1 pekin (long island) duckSalt and freshly ground black pepper 3 cloves garlic, peeled and chopped1 bunch fresh thyme1. Set rack in the middle of the oven, then preheat oven to 300°. Rinse duck with cold water inside and out, then pat dry with paper towels. Discard any large pieces of fat from cavity, then trim off wing tips (reserve along with giblets for stock, if you like). Season cavity with salt and pepper to taste, then rub with garlic. Stuff cavity with a few sprigs of thyme.2. Pierce duck skin and fat with a sharp paring knife-being careful not to cut into flesh-by inserting the tip of the knife on the diagonal (not straight in) and making dozens of slits all over the duck. Place duck, breast side up, on a rack set on a shallow roasting pan. Roast duck for 4 hours, removing bird from oven every hour and piercing skin and fat again, as described above, with the paring knife. (Each time you re-pierce duck, pour off fat and turn bird over, allowing it to roast for 2 hours total on each side.)3. After 4 hours of roasting time, increase the oven temperature to 350°. Season the duck skin with salt and pepper and cook until the skin is crisp and browned, 1 hour more. Allow the duck to rest for 20 minutes, then garnish cavity with remaining fresh thyme, if you like. To serve, hack the duck into small pieces, bones and all, using a sharp cleaver.

This article was first published in Saveur in Issue #39

Due to having a fan-assisted monstrosity without the ability to turn off the forsaken fan, I reduced the temp a bit. I also scalded the pricked duck with a kettle’s full of boiled water and dried it off well before seasoning with S&P before bunging it in the oven.

Result? The duck turned out crispy and scrummy, even if the meat was a tad on the drier side. I think next time I’ll reduce the cooking time by 45 mins to an hour and see what that does to the meat / skin.

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Holiday Wildlife

Whilst over in the States, we went on a couple of nature excursions. First one was a walk around Primehook National Wildlife Refuge. EBO saw her first turtle (which, in the face of extreme danger, I bravely picked up and moved since it was sitting in the middle of the path):

HUGE Scary Turtle the size of my palm

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Here’s another flame spewing turtle of doom we saw further along the path:

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More fearsome beasts appeared from the shadows:

Soul Destroyer Toad

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Since I didn’t want warts and/or puncture wounds, I decided to leave the toads and the two 3+feet snakes alone to do their evil bidding.

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The new EBO experience extravaganza also included a trip to the beach, the invitingly named Slaughter Beach. She got to see her first horseshoe crab hauling his little prehistoric butt along the shoreline’s breaking waves:

Horseshoe Crab at Slaughter Beach

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She wasn’t overly enthused about putting her feet in the icy Atlantic waters. However, she loved crawling along the sand and getting it everywhere, including in her mouth and all crevices of clothing.

EBO’s first sand footprint

UK Apprentice Finale

I haven’t given a recap of any of the shows since episode 4 but I’ve been watching my favourite brain-rot  show nonetheless. Last night’s finale was a bit of a surprise.

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Lee McQueen, Winner of BBC’s The Apprentice

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Although I’m not quite sure how Lee was picked over Claire, thank the stars Sir Alan rubbed his grey matter together and decided against the seemingly vacuous Alex. Lee seems like a good guy sans lying on his CV and not knowing how to use spell-check. Rough around the edges and in need of a good polishing up. No, not in that way. Hope he does well. Claire will definitely do well in whatever she sets out to accomplish.